It was a great Saturday morning. Like the usual, I sent him a morning SMS, kept him updated on what I did or where I was. It was a routine. I guess, they’ve become part of my day-to-day existence. Saturday is hometown day! The 5th of December is a no ordinary hometown day. Why? It’s simply because we will go home together. So during the morning of that day, we agreed to meet each other at the bus terminal, 6PM. Actually, I can go home earlier. I’m out of office by lunch time. But I preferred to travel with him.
Me and him, in the bus, for an hour or more, means a lot to me. I was so excited to sit beside him. So excited. I hope he feels as much.
I spent the rest of my nothing-to-do hours with my friends. We had lunch at the mall. We talked about anything–careers, plans, reunions, etc. I had so much fun that I didn’t notice Mr. Whatever triumphantly stole my cellphone. Damn! I was in trouble. How will I explain this to my mother. (sighs)
Worse, he might had sent me SMS updates there! Oh, my. Over and above the problem with my Mom, what bothers me that time was how to contact him, and let him know what has happened. It was quarter to six. I decided to send him an SMS using my friend’s phone. And worse, I lied. I told him I’m on my way to the terminal. It was a series of unfortunate events, actually. My friend wanted to go with me to the terminal. I didn’t say no. And so we had a lot of drop by. I was so worried about him. If he hasn’t gone ahead, then I kept him waiting for more than an hour. My mind was in a coma that time, 50:50.
I could have told him to go ahead, but I don’t want to. Two things were running on my mind: how will I react if the moment I get there, he has really gone ahead; or how will I feel if he has really waited for that long.
Much to my surprise, he was still there! My heart that time was jumping for joy upon seeing him there, waiting. Oh, he doesn’t know how he melted my heart away. But as expected, he was disappointed. I knew it. It showed on his facial expression how bad he felt to what I did.
For several minutes, we didn’t talk. I didn’t say any word but sorry. I don’t how to elaborate how sorry I was. It was a deafening silence between us. I prefer not to say something because I don’t know how to, because I was guilty, and I knew it was entirely my fault. Worse, he had to ride twice to get to his hometown because the last bus to their place has departed. He wasn’t able to make it because I didn’t make it on time. I can’t blame him for feeling that way. I thought of the things that were running in his mind that time.
(sighs)
And then finally I heard a word from him. This time he was trying to let me explain. I was so happy to hear that from him. When the bus was about to depart, we had finally started a conversation. It was so sweet. Whether he noticed it or not, I really did show him how special he was to me. We held hands at times. We teased each other. We cracked jokes only the two of us can understand on how those stupid things made us laugh. And then, we slowly brought ourselves to our exclusive world. It was a joy ride in the truest sense of the word.
I was just sitting beside him for an hour, but it was more likely a lifetime of happiness…of comfortability…of special friendship…of love…at the wrong time. The feeling was very familiar. I knew it has happened before. I just can’t tell when and how.
On that day, I told myself: Hey, that guy sitting beside you is the one who will make you happy without requiring you to change every aspect of yourself because he’s happy with who and what you are.
On that very day, I realized he’s the man I want to spend my lifetime with.
…but not now. Hopefully, in time…the right time. Please, God. I know this is selfish because with my wish lies a person who will get hurt.
…But he’s all I ever wanted.
